Trust

I hope you don't mind if I share my heart with you today. These are my honest feelings about our current situation. I had something else in mind for this post, but after reading a forwarded e-mail that laid out an even bleaker prognosis for our collective recovery from this crisis, I knew I had to go a different direction.

I used to have this familiar morning routine. After making the bed and reading my devotional, I would look at my e-mails, hit up Facebook, and check in on a couple of blogs I follow, all while enjoying my second (or third) cup of coffee. My routine has changed somewhat of late. I still make my bed, read my Bible, and check on family via social media, but I just don't take the same pleasure in viewing the blogs. They were mostly decorating blogs highlighting the latest trends. I no longer care what's new on that front. I suppose it could serve as a nice distraction from the plethora of scary news articles that flood the internet these days, but with so much bigger concerns than "paint color of the year" and what's new from the Magnolia line at Target, the joy is lost.

I was doing pretty well for a while, stellar even. At the onset of this, I was laughing along with everyone else at all the "toilet paper" and "introvert" jokes inundating Facebook. I was taking encouragement from some of the more positive predictions of how all of this was going to be contained... that within a few short weeks everything would be back to normal, that this would be a blip on the radar... a really big blip, but a blip nonetheless. I'm not so sure that's the case anymore. Things are getting real, and all the silliness is becoming a bit stale.

I can't do a lot of the news any more. At the point where my sincere interest in obtaining the latest facts becomes overwhelmed by the fear it begins to instill in me, that's when I have to shut it off. I have to replace that fear with something solid, something non-wavering, something that grounds me and gives me hope. The only thing I know that will do that for me is God's Word. I need something... SOMEONE I can implicitly trust.

I appreciate my civic leaders, I really do. I pray for them, for wisdom. I heed their advice, but I don't put my trust in them. I appreciate everything that the health care community is doing for this country, putting their own lives on the line to try to get a handle on this crisis. I follow their recommendations. I pray for their safety, but I don't put my trust in them. I listen to Dave Ramsey. I try to take some semblance of comfort in his encouragement that it will be possible to recover financially from all this when it's finally over. I consider his advice, but I don't put my trust or my financial peace in him either.

In Christ alone I put my trust.

Even in the midst of this pandemic there are things for which to give thanks. I personally am thankful for the internet and for the ability I have to see and talk with my grandsons via facetime. I have been "meeting" with them both in the afternoons for story time with Big Mama. I try to keep things upbeat. I don't know what their little hearts might be feeling, but I wouldn't be surprised if they are a bit troubled too. Their routines have been turned upside down, though they likely haven't a clear grasp why. Fot that I am also thankful.

Along with the picture books the likes of "The Little Engine that Could" and "The Napping House" I like to read the boys a story from The Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones. The author has such a wonderful way of relating. Her words make the stories within come to life. The subtitle is what I love best. It reads: "Every story whispers His (Jesus') name."

Yesterday's story was "The Captian of the Storm" based on Mark 4 and Matthew 8. God's Word always encourages, and this story in particular was just what I needed to hear as well. One evening as Jesus and His discipes were headed across the Sea of Galilee, a storm came up. It was sudden and it was violent. In one of the illustrations (Jago) the disciples are cowering in the boat, holding on to the sides and the mast for dear life. Their mouths are wide open as they are screaming for Jesus to save them. The waves are churning. The boat is pitching. Jesus? He's asleep, fast asleep in the boat with them!

Why isn't He afraid? Why isn't Jesus picking up a bucket to bail out the water? Why isn't He holding on to the side of the boat, screaming right along with them?

Jesus has no fear. Jesus has no panic, because Jesus is the Captain. He is the Master of the Universe. The winds and the waves obey Him. With three little words, "Peace, be still," it all stopped... the winds, the waves... the fear. You guys, Jesus is right here. He's right here in the boat with us. The winds are swirling. The waves are churning. We have panic written all over our faces, but Jesus? He is calm, and it is He who calms not only the wind and the waves, but also our troubled hearts. We are not alone in the storm. We never have been.

I have to confess that sometimes my fears overtake me. When they do, I'm just like those disciples in the boat. I have forgotten that my Captain is right here with me, that nothing is going to happen to me that He is unaware of or that He hasn't control over. I don't fear for myself. I really don't. I have lived a full life. It has been an extraordinary life. I have had the privilege of the deepest of friendships with the love of my life for nearly thirty-five years. I have been blessed with four of the most amazing children whom I have had the privilege of seeing grow into incredible adults, and I have even had the honor of being called "Big Mama" by two of the cuddliest little boys who consistently make my heart melt. If God chooses this time to call me home I'm ready.

My fears are for my family, for those I hold most dear. I worry for them in these times. I know you know this as well as I do. It's hard being separated from loved ones during a crisis. You want nothing more than to hop in the car and speed your way to where they are just to get a reassuring hug that "all is well." But you know what? All IS well. It is all out of our control, but it is still well, because it's not out of HIS control. We might not be able to be with our loved ones, to hug them, to keep them safe, but He is. He is.

One of the devotional books my parents used to read to me when I was growing up was Little Visits with God. There was one in particular that came to mind this morning. The picture at the top of the page was of a little girl looking out the window during a storm at night. The verse that accompanied that devotion was Psalm 56:3. "What time I am afraid, I will trust in Thee." Well, Lord, I am afraid. These are most uncertain times. I'm crouching white-knuckled in the bottom of the boat, crying to you for comfort and help... and I know you hear me. You hear us all. You are the God who healed the lame and made the blind to see. You are the God who fed five thousand with two fish and five small loaves... and YOU are the God who calmed the storm. I needn't be afraid. I need only to trust.

Dear Jesus, this is a huge squall. It came up suddenly and violently too. These winds are strong. These waves deep. It is so frightening, Lord. But you, You are the God of the winds and the waves. You are also the Master and Lord of my heart. I thank you that you are in the midst of this storm with me, right there beside me in the boat. Teach my heart to have no fear, but to trust in You. With your words, "Peace be still." make my heart calm again. Amen

*The above photo (photo credit Jago Silver) was taken from page 241 of the Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd Jones, Zondekidz publishers , 2007.