When Anxiety Attacks

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:6-7

A number of years ago, probably ten or more, our church decided to put together a devotional booklet for parents experiencing the joy (and perhaps a little sadness too) of their first child graduating high school and going out into the world on their own. We enlisted the advice of parents who had been there themselves to offer words of encouragement for others venturing into this "new normal."

It seems timely to share this post today as so many moms and dads are experiencing their child's high school graduation... knowing that their nest will soon be emptier and life as they have known it will be forever changed.

The following was my contribution... as a throw-back entry for today's post. The saying, "Hindsight is twenty-twenty," is certainly true for me, and still rings so as I read these same sentiments today, but for a believer who puts his trust in the Lord, there is no need for anxiety about an unknown future or of regret about mistakes of the past. God's vision for our life and for the lives of our children is perfect in every moment.

Here follows that entry:

I remember the day well. I had been dreading it for weeks. Of course I was excited... even thrilled you might say... that Mark, our oldest, our firstborn, was going off to college. After all, that was the day we had prepared him for over the past eighteen years, thirteen of which I had dedicated to homeschooling him.

He was headed to a Christian college as a church work major. My husband and I were very proud of our son and of all he had accomplished to get to that place. Yet, as we stood there on the verge of this new and exciting adventure for him, there was something inside me that was also aching... aching for one more family get-together, one more late night talk, one more hug. I didn't really understand why I was feeling so reluctant to let him go... I just was.

The school had an amazing worship service the evening we left Mark there. They had included a wonderfully special affirmation time in which we, as parents, could affirm our love for our children, and they, in turn, could affirm their love for us. Let me tell you, afterward there wasn't a dry eye in the place. Then, just like that, and much sooner than we'd have liked, it was time to say goodbye.

I lingered a bit as the new students tramped enthusiastically off to their "welcome" celebrations, hoping to catch one more glimpse of our boy before heading back. The car ride home was quiet. The giant lump in our throats precluded any small talk. Don't get me wrong. We knew this was God's plan for our son... He had made that abundantly clear through many means of affirmation, and we felt blessed to have been a part of that plan. We just needed a little reminding.

It was time for us to reflect on the many promises of God we had shared with all our children through their growing-up years:

God is faithful.

He never leaves us or forsakes us.

Our lives are in His hands.

His love is an everlasting love.

I repeated these promises over and over to myself in the days that followed. Each morning I gave our son over to the Lord in prayer for protection, for establishing good friendships, for staying firm in the faith, and for making God-pleasing choices. Each evening I thanked God for His amazing love and for His patience in dealing with my anxious heart.

When I was finally able to "Let go and let God," an incredible peace came over me... a promised peace to quiet my fears. God had ordained both Mark's days and mine. I knew that. I also knew that God loved Mark even more than I did. There was no longer any need for doubts or fretting. Though my child's days were out of my control, they were not out of His. I could now relinquish my concern... and pass it off to much more capable hands.

That was our first experience with letting go... and putting the lives of our children into their Father's hands, though truthfully... they were always there in the most capable hands of all. Tom and I would go through that experience three more times with two of our girls heading off to college and another of them heading into the workforce. I can't say that emotionally it ever got any easier, but knowing they were striking out on this new path while holding fast to the hand of their Creator... and He holding fast to theirs, certainly made it more joyful.

I still pray for them. I always will. Now I get to add their spouses and children in there too. It is my great privilege to lift them up to the Lord. It is a joy and a great relief to remember that they all continue to be held in His most capable grip.

Here is the prayer from the end of that entry. If you are experiencing these same feels today as your child begins to spread his or her wings, feel free to pray along.

Dear Father, when we parents begin to feel anxious as our children approach this new phase of life, help us to remember that it was You who formed them in the womb and You who still directs their days. Strengthen both our faith and theirs through the knowledge that we are all being held in the hollow of Your mighty hands. Amen