Thirty-five... and Counting

I can hardly wrap my head around the fact that next Monday Tom and I will have been married for thirty-five years. Where has the time gone?! July 13, 1985, was a great day... a wonderful day. It was the day we both said goodbye to our former lives, our formerly single selves, and united everything we each had into one beautiful, solitary union that would face anything the world could throw at us.

We were babies. I wouldn't say we thought we had all the answers, but I will admit that we thought we had enough of them to make a real go of it. I sometimes still chuckle to myself when I think of choosing the 13th as our wedding day. I was band directing at the time for NISD, so we needed a date in the summer. We had to fit it between my summer grad school classes and the beginning of summer band in August. Both Saturdays, the 6th and the 20th of July, were already taken by other couples, so not being deterred by superstition, which neither of us gave credence to, the 13th it was!

You guys, I thought I was so grown up and ready to be a good wife. I found out shortly after we said our vows that letting go of self for the greater good of the marriage partnership would be no easy task for me. I grew up an only, and though I wouldn't define myself as spoiled, (of course not... ) I would definitely have to say that never having had to consult someone else in decisions or consider another's wishes... much less put them ahead of my own... was a more foreign concept for me. Needless to say, that first year or so was a tad rocky, but obviously we survived!

We moved into a little rent house Tom had bought a few years prior and began making it our own. We feathered our nest with bits of this and that left over from each of our "apartment" days and filled in the blanks with hand-me-downs and K-Mart bargains. That was a unique property, for sure. It had been moved onto the lot from who-knows-where and had so many different types of windows that it was virtually impossible to use two of the same pair in any given room, but, gosh we loved it there. It may not have been much, but it was ours, and I was so proud of Tom for putting money aside and purchasing that place when he did. It was home. We brought our first baby from the hospital to that house, and it was there that we began to bond, to morph from two to one, as we faced some real hurdles together.

Life for the two of us wasn't always easy. My goodness, marriage hasn't always been easy. We have had our challenges as much as any other couple, but we would both say without hesitation that it has been a good life. We have been happy and have always felt extremely blessed. God has faithfully provided a roof over our heads, food on our table, health for our family, education for our children, and grace for our daily lives. We have not lived an extravagant life by the world's standards, but we HAVE lived an extravagantly abundant life thanks to our Father in Heaven and to His Son, Jesus Christ, who has given us waaaay more than we, as two sinful human beings, deserve.

When we were first married we had no choice but to look forward, to step out in faith as a couple into the great unknown of what our marriage would be, to trust wholeheartedly in God's provision for this partnership. We were in awe of all that could be. I don't suppose either of us ever imagined going through some of the valleys we've trekked, standing there that day in our white dress and bow tie at the threshold of this venture. It was all such a sweet dream. It still is.

We're a little bit farther down that road now. We still have much to anticipate, God-willing, but I don't think anything can quite compare to standing on this hill and looking back at all the miles we've already traveled. So many places along the way were happy hallmarks of a life well-lived, of a partnership well-matched, and of a love well-expressed. Oh, yes, there were tough times too. As I said before, we've had our share of trials, sadness, and loss. The good Lord has cradled the two of us many times in His capable grip, and He has also in His infinite mercy used those times to draw us both closer together to one another and closer to Him. For this, we can only give thanks.

God has blessed our marriage in more ways than I could ever begin to adequately describe. He has taken two imperfect people and formed a union more perfect than each of the individual parts. That can ONLY be because of His union in our partnership as well. He invested Himself in our venture, and He has been an active paricipant throughout. He has blessed and graced and forgiven and listened and lifted and healed and bound-up. He has given... He has taken... but through it ALL He has been right there with us.

It has been an amazing ride. Speaking for myself here, I have learned a great deal about love and marriage over these last thirt-five years. I've learned that it really is more blessed to give than to receive, and that more happiness comes from compromise than from demanding my own way. I've learned that trust is golden, that sacrifice is necessary, that life is fragile, that words are powerful, that people are imperfect, that grace is essential, that God is good, and that love... love is in all the little details.

Thank you, Tom, my sweet husband, for loving me... for embracing whatever it is in me that you find virtuous and for overlooking and forgiving my flaws. Your love makes me a better version of myself. In you I have found my other half, my strength and my security. I thank God for you, for our marriage, for our beautiful family, and for our life together. Most of all, I thank God for bringing us together and for keeping us that way. I love you dearly. Happy Anniversary, and here's to many, many more!