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Every morning there it sits waiting for me, perched atop the coffee shelf, the extra Sweet'n Low packet. Tom has placed it there in anticipation of the inevitable second cup. You see, he always brings me coffee first thing when I wake. Actually, that's HOW I wake up... to the sounds of his cheery, "Good morning, SHMILY, I have some coffee for you - with the pink stuff." It's how we've done married life since the very beginning, or I should more accurately say, it's how he's done married life for me.
Oh, sometimes I manage to beat him to it, or perhaps even sprint into the kitchen to get him his coffee first, but, admittedly, those occurrences are few and very far between. He's the coffee hero, and it's one of the ways he says he loves me. I'm a lucky girl, I'll freely admit it, because Tom shows me in this, and a million other little ways, that his love for me is real, true, steady, and rock-solid.
I suppose he'd be the first to say that his strong suit is acts of service rather than words of affirmation, but I don't know that I'd fully agree. He may not say a lot, but when he does, it always offers sweet sustenance for my heart. As I mentioned above, he calls me SHMILY. That name came from a book by Dr. James and Shirley Dobson, Night Light: A Devotional for Couples, that we read together on our twenty-fifth anniversary trip to a little bed and breakfast in Fredericksburg. It's an acronym for: See How Much I Love You. That's been his name for me for the last nearly twelve years now. Besides that, he always offers a "WOW!" when I emerge from the bedroom dressed for church or an outing in something other than my usual shorts and t-shirt. I'm pretty sure he's being generous with that compliment, but it still makes me blush. I love him for that and for all the other special little reasons, too many to count.
Getting back to that Sweet'n Low packet, it's another small way Tom says he cares. He and I enjoy sharing a cup of coffee to greet the day while still hanging out in bed before we get up and get going. Before I started back walking every morning, I used to have two or maybe even three cups before jumping out of bed. Now that I've limited myself to just one, pre-walk, Tom takes the extra packet out of the mason jar and puts it there on the shelf, ready for when I get back home and can enjoy another round.
This may not seem like much to most of you out there, but it means a great deal to me. It always makes me smile to reach for the jar only to see that sliver of pink paper at the ready. It tells me Tom was thinking about me today... and every day. It's a tiny calling card with the words, "I love you," written in invisible ink.
I think sometimes we expect too much as a spouse. We tend to value the grand gestures. We count the weeks, the months, since the last "date night" or the last romantic get-away. We covet the fancy floral deliveries, the seven dollar Hallmark cards while perhaps overlooking all the smaller ways we're cherished... a rose picked for us from the yard on the way in, a steaming Cup of Joe brought bedside, or, yes, a little pink sweetener pack waiting on the shelf.
Life is made of much more than grand gestures, and love is more than candy, flowers, and date nights, as great as those things can be. Life happens every day, and the greatest expressions of truly deep love are those that are expressed in the everyday. I honestly believe that. So here's to you and to all those precious little things that your special someone does for you. See them for what they are... love notes that grace your everyday. Hold them close to your heart and smile, for they mean that someone was thinking of you.
p.s. I love you, Tom Pulliam :)
"We cannot all do great things, but we can do small things with great love." - Mother Teresa
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