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There I was, straddling the 6 foot A- frame, hair plastered to the window frame I had just painted. I managed to squeeze myself into the tiny space between the inside of the awning and the window, where maneuvering was pretty much limited to dipping my brush into the paint can and carefully sliding it up alongside me til it reached freedom overhead. To say the scene was comical would be an understatement.
Tired, sweaty, and sporting latex polka dots from head to toe, I looked down to see a second A-frame being positioned opposite me, at the outside of the awning. It was Tom to the rescue! I told him I'd work on the awnings and get them painted both inside and out while he did the more treacherous work up high on the extension ladder, but I suppose after he saw my appearance and the length of time it was taking to get it done, he took pity on me and came to help.
It was a moment of clarity in the definition of "all for one and one for all,"... or should I say, "you for me and me for you." It was also a moment of clarity in the definition of love.
If I had to pick whether I'd prefer to have Tom tell me he loved me or show me he loved me, I'd pick "show" over "tell" every time. Fortunately, (and believe me, I know how blessed I am) I don't have to pick, because Tom does both every day. Heartfelt words are precious and I treasure them, but the investment it takes to express that thought pales in comparison to the investment of time and energy it takes to demonstrate that love through action.
I certainly hope I do my best in both expressing and demonstrating my love for Tom too.
We're a good team, and actually that's what we are, teammates. We may play different roles from one another, but we have a common goal and we work together for the common good of our marriage and by extension, our family.
In the early years it manifested as Tom pulled the full financial weight. He worked long hours and took as much overtime as he could manage so we could pay the bills and stay afloat. It was a heavy burden, and I can't tell you how much I appreciated that, as it gave me the opportunity to be home with our young children and ultimately to homeschool them. My job was to take the money and manage it, stretching it as far as it would go.
In the middle years it meant being there for one another as each of our parents began to have health issues. Physical support and mental support was both given and received by each of us as we navigated those hard roads. We held the weight together. Sometimes it meant helping with our actual presence in the situation. Sometimes it meant being the ear to listen or the shoulder to cry on or the arms to hug and hold.
Here in these latter years it's been doing these kinds of projects together. I always joke that I'm the idea department and Tom is production! That's not far from the truth, poor guy. He puts up with me. I put up with him. WE put up with each other, but in all seriousness, we honor and cherish each other. We respect and admire each other. We have a wonderful partnership where we fill each other's gaps, and are better whole than apart.
God has given us, and has Himself participated in, a sacred bond. It is a bond in which we each have come to discover and to demonstrate our unique strengths and giftedness... the giftedness God designed for each of us from before birth. God's design for our marriage has been what has equipped us to be helpmates, each playing second fiddle to the other, and each happy to stand in ovation when one steps briefly into the spotlight for a solo.
So you see... love is more than a simple, four letter word. It's an action verb that is played out in both big things and small things and easy things and hard things over and over again...
for a lifetime.
I love you, Tom Pulliam! Thank you for always showing me, in everything you do, how much you love me too.
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