Good, Good Father

This is Father's Day weekend. If you are blessed to still have your dad around, I hope you will tell him so. Time has a way of getting by as days turn into years so quickly. Often, we don't even notice it speeding past until we step off life's crazy merry-go-round one day, and find that the opportunities to hug, laugh with, and talk to the ones we love are fast fleeting. Memories are the treasure we're left with when our loved ones move homeward. They have to suffice until we meet again one day, so we have to do what we can to fill that bank while we are able.

This time of year always makes me think of parenting. We have just celebrated Mother's Day a few short weeks ago, and now we turn our attention to dads. For me, it has been a time to think about my kids, especially since my mom and dad have both graduated to heaven. I can remember being so over-the-moon excited to become a mom. My days of pregnancy were filled with giddy anticipation, outfitting the baby's room with a crib and toys... picking out curtains and crib sheets. Tom and I looked through baby name books and attended birthing classes. This was pretty much the extent of my preparation for bringing a new life into the world. Little did I know... or imagine just how totally inadequate and lacking that preparation was. I was in for a very real awakening.

You see, parenting isn't just the periphery of food, clothes, shelter. It's not just doctor's visits, birthday parties, and play dates. It's not just Sunday school and science projects. It's taking a small, fragile, impressionable life that has been entrusted to you and guiding and molding that life into something courageous, something honorable, something trustworthy and kind...someone who will make a mark and take a stand, not just for the world, but for God, their Maker. Parenting is an incredible privilege. It is a blessing. I believe it is a God-given calling, and as such, it is also a weighty burden.

Parenting isn't something we can do on our own and hope for the best. No. We need help, and that help must come from a very specific place... a very specific SOMEONE. We can try diligently, but as fallible people, our best will always be flawed no matter how hard we work at it. That's why we need the Lord. I can't begin to tell you how many times I had to drop to my knees asking God to forgive me for yet another colossal blunder. I can't recall the vast number of times I lay awake at night asking Him to give me wisdom, the right words, the best action to handle some situation or other with one of my children.

God isn't just the Father who loves my kids. He is the Father who loves me too, and He has always been there for me, ready to step in, to smoothe over, to correct my missteps. I need Him. I needed Him so much when I was in my own parenting journey. I tell you truthfully, I wanted to be a good mom. I wanted to be the epitome of all that is wise and good and kind and loving... and man did I fail miserably on so many counts... so many times. Yet, my children still love me. God did that. He helped me, and He helped my kids to see that their mother was an imperfect sinner in need of a Savior... just like they were.

I can read all the right books. I can teach my children from the works of the greatest thinkers and reformers. I can drill into them the importance of memorizing Scripture and poetry and historical documents 'til the cows come home, but the most influential person in shaping their lives and their character will continue to be little. old. imperfect. me. I still shudder to think of the words that escaped my mouth one night as a big ol' roach flew at me from the dark of the hall bathroom. These. These are the words indelibly imprinted in my kids' minds. That's why I need backup, because if I'm going to be the words they see, I had better be reflecting The Word. The Word they see with the eyes of faith.

I need to stay connected to a power source much greater than myself. I need to depend on the One who loves my children even more than I do, and I need to take my parenting responsibility seriously. If you don't know me well, you probably don't know that Tom and I chose to homeschool our four kids from kindergarten through high school graduation. For me it was twenty years straight from Mark through Sarah. I won't get into our reasons for doing so at this time. Let it simply suffice to say, that for us, it was what we felt was the best choice for our family. Home schooling, like parenting, is not for the faint of heart. It is a HUGE commitment, and it takes a tremendous amount of dedication and hard work to see it through to the finish. I say that simply as it relates to parenting in general.

I was often a basket case when we were teaching at home. I doubted whether I was doing enough or keeping up with at least as much as was expected of children in those same grades in public school. I sweated bricks whenever it came time for the standardized tests... and waiting to get the results back was nerve-wracking, to say the least. I knew that if we were going to commit to this venture, I would have to give it my ALL. Nothing half-way would do. It would be the thing that drove me all those years, because I knew that there would be only one person to blame if my kids came up short in the education department. Me.

As much as I obsessed over giving their schooling my best shot, it was nothing compared to the awe, the obligation I felt to the Lord for raising His kids to know and to love Him. For me as a Christian mother, it was my highest priority, because I felt that nothing... not. one. thing. in this world was as important as introducing my children to Jesus and modeling for them, as imperfect as it was, how to be in relationship with Him. I always knew that this was my truest and greatest calling of all, and I knew I would totally mess it up without the Lord's help. This was the only thing I could ever hope to do for my precious children that would have eternal consequence.

... and God

... and God saw my heart and He knew my deepest thoughts and desires

... and God became not only their good, good Father, He was also mine.

He rescued me from every mistake. He redeemed every sin. He held me up with His righteous right hand, and together we forged ahead. He gave me the strength and the confidence I needed to face each day and each challenge as it came. Did I do it perfectly? Seriously? You still need to ask? Of course not. I continued to stumble along, I still do, but He never lets me fall. That's what dads do. They look after you. They hold your hand. They pick you up and put you on their shoulders when you get too tired to walk on your own.

Human parents, human dads, are meant to be God's gift to us as well. They are supposed to love us. To teach us. To model for us, as best they can, the kinds of redeeming qualities they hope to see us emulate. They are supposed to pray for us. To confess their sins. To apologize for their shortcomings. To work hard to do better. They are supposed to hug us. To tell us they love us. To spend their lives trying to show us just how much. Many dads do those things. Many dads take their God-given responsibility to heart. That being said, not all dads are that way. Many fail. Some fail miserably. Even the ones we think of fondly, the ones we love dearly are imperfect too. There is only One perfect Father. He helps all of us to be more than we can be on our own. He helps us to be what He sees in us. He redeems our words, our actions, our parenting, our lives. "All this He does out of Fatherly, divine goodness and mercy, without any merit or worthiness in me." All this...

... because He is our good, good Father

...because He loves us more than words can tell

... because His Word is The Word we see

...and believe.

"See how great a love the Father has bestowed upon us, that we should be called children of God; and such we are." - 1 John 3:1