Every Age, a Good Age

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven." - Ecclesiastes 3:1

I was sitting on the deck the other night, thinking about things. Nothing earth-shattering, just random thoughts. It hit me that I'm now the age my mom was when she first came to live here at this little casita. Before I get any further along, I need to give you a bit of background. My parents bought this house in the early 90s. Tom and I had moved into the old home I grew up in around that same time, and my parents settled in here, absolutely thrilled with the smaller footprint and the sweet details like the scalloped awnings that dress the outside windows.

My mom had always admired this place, and when she and my dad saw it come on the market, they jumped at the chance to make it theirs. Our two families lived only one street apart, same block even. My kids always thought that Grandma and Grandpa bought this place just so they could come spend the night more often, which they did. I don't know who enjoyed that more, my kids or my parents. Either way, it was a match made in heaven!

My parents lived happily together here for thirteen years before God called my mother home. My dad followed her four years later. They left this little place to me. It served beautifully as a home for my son and daughter-in-law for the next seven years as they worked in ministry here in San Antonio. When they accepted a call to start a new congregation for the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod in Spring, Texas, Tom and I made the move to the little casita ourselves.

Now that you have a few details, I'll get back to my original thought. As I was sitting out that afternoon, lost in the movement of the clouds overhead and the warm breeze rounding the corner of the driveway, I thought about how similar this season of life was for my parents and now for me. My mom and I were both fifty-eight when we came to live in this sweet space, and, no, I don't mind at all that you know my age. I'm happy the good Lord has granted me this many years so far. If He called me home today, I truthfully would have lived a happy and fulfilled life. Mom and I were both empty nesters, she by quite a bit longer than me since she had only one child and I had four, and we were both grandmothers. She was "Grandma" to my kids. I'm "Big Mama" to my sweet babies. We share the sentiment that it is one of the greatest callings in the world!

As my thoughts wandered, I recalled a time in my teens when I asked my mother if she ever wished she could be twenty again. I don't really know why I asked her that question, just curious, I guess. I, in my naivete, fully expected her to answer in the affirmative. I was kind of shocked by her response to tell you the truth. She said she'd never want to go backward in life, that every age is a good age. I think I wrongly assumed that all the fun was up front and that the rest of life was a fast downhill roll. No worries. She set me straight. She told me that life becomes richer the longer we live. We learn more about ourselves. We learn more about God. Our relationships with the Lord and with each other deepen. She was right, of course. My mom was a smart cookie, but it took me a "heap of livin'" to understand it all for myself. I guess some things are just absorbed better over a slow burn.

I get it now, I really do. With every age come both blessings and challenges. Some stages are harder than others for all sorts of reasons, but the blessings always seem to outweigh the difficulties. If we could think of life's decades as building blocks, then it's understandable that like math, for instance, each span of time builds on the previous ones... we learn, we mature, we gain wisdom and experience. Every age has something unique and beautiful to offer, and can only be understood and appreciated by experiencing it.

Take, for example, the years I spent raising my children. I loved being a stay-at-home mom. I enjoyed the twenty-five years God gave me to be with my kids, to teach them, to really get to know them. I mourned when those days were over. It might sound silly, but for me it really was a sad time. I had a great deal of difficulty letting it all go, but then God did something wonderful for me. He introduced me to the adult versions of my children. He let me see how knowing them as adults was even sweeter than remembering them as children, because we could share so much more now, not just as mother and children, but as friends. God showed me that one blessing builds on another, but to experience the next gift He has lined up, we have to let go of the last.

I continued my "education" as the years sped by. The decade between my forties and fifties was an especially difficult one for me. During those years Tom and I lost both our sets of parents. His mom and dad went first, then mine. They seemed to go in quick succession. Just about the time we would regain some sense of normalcy over one loss, another would happen. In the midst of all that, we had children going off to college, graduating, and getting married. There were lots of trying times, but there were also many wonderful things that God let us experience through it all. One that was especially moving for me was being able to sit by my parents' hospital beds, hold their hands, and help to usher them homeward when it was their time to go. It was rough. I didn't think I could do it, but God helped me see it through. Looking backward, I understand what a privilege it was. I learned so much about love, about death... and about life in those places. Even in the darkness there was still light.

In all of this there is a tradeoff, of course. You can't jump ahead on the game board. You've got to move forward one square at a time. Some places you land will seem to last forever. They will be hard and tiring, yet there will still be loveliness in them. God sees to that. Some places will be so wonderful you'll never want to leave, but here too, God knows there's more to experience, so He gently nudges us along... and for believers, He has saved the best for last. You've got to wait for the good stuff, and making it all the way to the end means you're pretty well spent when you get there, but wow, what a reward for finishing... and what an incredible ride along the way!

I wonder what God has in store for me next? Here I am, pushing sixty, and still giddy with anticipation at the next decade. I'm not sure what's coming, but I know the end game. It's all good. God has me firmly in His grip, and whatever happens, God and I will face the new season together... and there's always blessing in that!