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"And which of you by being anxious can add a single cubit to his life's span?" - Matthew 6:27
Sometimes you have to preach to yourself. Today's post is about my having to do that very thing more often than I'd like to admit. You see, I'm a worrier. I wouldn't say I've been a worrier my whole life, but I have had LOTS of experience in that department most of my adult years.
Saying that almost feels like one of those confessions a person has to make at a place like AA. "Hello, my name is Gayle, and I'm a worrier. Worry has stolen from me sleep, joy, and probably some of my good health." It's not really a lighthearted analogy. Worry leads to fear and can be paralyzing if not kept under control.
To admit that weakness might seem taboo for someone who is a Christian, but God already knows this about me. He and I have been working on it together for decades. It's no worse than admitting that I'm a sinner... and He's fully and painfully aware of that fact too. Being a sinful human being causes all manner of havoc in life, and one of the things it does in mine is create worry.
It isn't really me doing the preaching. It's God and His Word, of course, but I must remind myself to turn to Him when doubts, fears, and worries begin to get the better of me. I need a healthy dose of Scripture to tame that ugly beast, and I must say, it's the only remedy that is 100% effective.
I know God is in control. I know I shouldn't fear. I know that worry is a lack of faith on my part, but I also know that Satan likes to hit us where we're vulnerable, and worry is my soft underbelly.
A sweet friend recently gave me a copy of a couple of devotions she was reading through, herself. I don't know exactly what book this devotion comes from, so I can't give proper credit here, but my goodness... that devotion was spot on for me. It was titled: "The Landmine of Fear." It mentioned that God put within us a natural apprehension of fear toward danger, for our protection; but it also said that a "constant, all-consuming dread" is unhealthy... and that "as anxiety grows, trust in the Lord weakens."
At our ladies' Bible study last week, I shared my version of "I once was lost, but now I'm found." We were asked to fill in the blanks of "I once was __________, but now I'm ___________." I had to honestly admit that I was once fearful, but I'm getting better every day at trusting and letting go of that worry. I have not succeeded perfectly. It remains a daily battle, yet I find that as the devil hurls flaming darts of fear my way, I am inclined more and more to repeat Scripture verses to myself, to hit my knees in prayer, and to reach for God's Word.
I think of the first verses of Psalm 121. "I will lift up my eyes to the hills; From whence shall my help come? My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth." I look up... to God, and when I do, He reminds me to look back... back through the steps of my days. He wants to remind me of His faithfulness, for at every crossroads, at every peril, in every heartache, or joy, in every trial and triumph, He's been right there with me all along.
He alone, has seen me through the worry of my sick babies, the concerns over six people making it on one income, the fear that our homeschooling efforts would not be stringent enough to teach our children well, the heartache of seeing our parents decline and ultimately ushering them toward Home. He has girded us up when Tom's company was sold and downsized, leaving him without a job after thirty-one years of service there... and blessed us with the even better job He has provided for Tom now.
God wants me to look back and to remember His care, His provision, His protection. If He has been faithful in the past, and faithful in the present, He will surely also be faithful in the future, whatever that holds.
When I have the pleasure of getting to put one of my grandsons to bed, it always comes with the request for a couple of songs. The standards are "Jesus Loves Me" and "I am Jesus' Little Lamb," definitely the best ones by which to drift off to sleep. There is another song that makes the rotation quite often. I don't even know the title. It made an appearance in the movie: White Christmas. Bing Crosby is singing to Rosemary Clooney about what to do when she can't fall asleep. I love these lyrics because of what they teach about that backward glance toward God's ever-faithful provision. It goes something like this:
"If you're worried, and you can't sleep; just count your blessings instead of sheep... and you'll fall asleep, counting your blessings."
That's truth... and the blessings always outweigh the worries.
We each have our moments, our moments of doubt and fear, our concerns. My goodness, the whole world has been groaning under the weight of the pandemic. This country has been groaning under the dire predictions of inflation and debt, of strife and upheaval. There is a collective plethora of worry over health, safety, and future security. Yet... Yet, we needn't be paralyzed by that fear. We need only remind ourselves Who is in control, Who has always been in conrtol... Who always WILL BE in control. We need to trade in our trepidation for His truth.
That devotion I mentioned before? The Scripture reference listed below the title is one of my all-time favorites, Isaiah 41:10, "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." The reference to God's right hand is always one referring to His power and might. He fights for us in battle, leading the way, making safe the path for us to follow. What has always intrigued me more though, is the thought of His left hand, for with that hand, He holds onto us.
Yes, I must admit that once I was fearful, but I can also rejoice that God in His goodness, mercy, and incredible patience is moving me ever forward from fear to greater faith... faith strong enough to cast worry aside, and wise enough to turn in trust to the One who has proven capable of handling anything.
He has put a song in my heart, and He invites me to sing. "Count your blessings, my girl, and let Me take care of the worries."
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