This past Tuesday I had to lay another of God's creatures to rest in our backyard. Our pet hen, Rosie, died. It might not sound like a traumatic event when we're talking about a chicken, but even the least of the Creator's living beings are valuable... and loved... and evoke a sad sense of loss when they leave this world.
Rosie was a Rhode Island Red hen, hence her name, and she was a good ol' gal. She was the only one of our plethora of backyard birds over the years who was blessed to live out the fullness of her days without succumbing to either illness or predators. She was a backyard fixture, and the grandkids loved her too. For a chicken, she had the best life had to offer, ranging free, running wild. I will miss her.
It seems to be my lot in life to be there at the side of loved ones when they go, be it a humble chicken or dear parents. It's never easy to watch life fade away, all the while hoping you could capture that essence and somehow force it back in... at least for a little while. How do you hold on... and simultaneously let go?? I haven't learned that art well. I likely never will.
All I know is that for all the tears and the heartbreak, it is good to have loved.
As an aside, I want to brag on my husband a bit here. He has been my rock through all the hard places. He has walked beside me, held my hand, and carried me through when it was just too difficult for me to take another step down that road. He's a tough guy, but what you might not know about him is that he is also incredibly tender, especially toward children, animals, and old folks.
I think I fell in love with him all over again when we had to have my dad come and live with us. My dad was suffering with dementia, and his health was rapidly declining. I wanted to have him home with me instead of relocating him to a care facility, and Tom agreed. It wasn't easy. In fact, there were times when it was quite difficult, but Tom never shined brighter. He was patient. He was kind. He helped in ways he never should have had to, yet he did it out of love for my dad ... and for me.
He's a good man, and he showed me so again these past couple of weeks as we knew the inevitable with our little bird was approaching. Tom got her water bowl and brought it close to her nest, checked on her multiple times, talked to her sweetly, and just generally showed this humble, little creature how much she was loved and valued.
Tuesday evening after supper we went to check on her again, and life was leaving her. We pet her, placed our hands on her, and stroked her head until she was gone. And we cried, both of us, because life... all life... is a gift. I thought back to an article I had written a number of years ago for our church's newsletter. It was about the value of pets. I believe what had sparked this particular topic was the loss of one of our community's teens at his own hands... a young man who suffered so from being bullied, that he felt the only way out was to end things.
Life, all life, is valuable. The article talked about the ability of pets to teach lessons of empathy, love, care, and respect... something we needed five years ago... something still in short supply today. The only thing different is that things seem to be even more cruel. With your permission, we're gonna throw it back to that piece from 2016.
"Rosie," this one's for you.
As I sit here this afternoon writing, I am playing nursemaid to another of our beloved pets soon to exit both this world and our lives. This is a familiar place for me... and, oh, how I hate it. "Hobo," our sweet cat -who was always more like a dog in loyalty and temperament than a feline- is the last holdout of all the pets that have graced our lives since my kids were young. It's hard to say goodbye to these gentle creatures who have brought so much joy and happiness into our homes and into our hearts. Though our children have all grown and gone, some of the animals have remained, becoming just as much a part of our lives as they were theirs. Hence, Tom and I are the ones left now to say the final goodbyes. It got me to wondering why we ever open ourselves up to this kind of heartache in allowing our kids to have pets.
Over the course of twenty-plus years the Pulliam family has had quite the menagerie. It all began with Bugsy, Mark's first rabbit when he was just three years old. It progressed quickly with the addition of Plucky and Wiggles, our two ducklings, and from there it went downhill fast! There were our rabbit raising days with Pedro, Conchita, Blackie, and Gordo; our chicken raising days (too many in succession to name) and our string of hamsters: Sandy(s) one, two, and three. Sarah reeeealy liked that name!
There was Rachel's cat, Patches; Elizabeth's Guinea pig, Blanca; and Mark's parakeets, Sunny and Blue Boy. Let's see, yep there was also Einstein, our duck; Rachel's Guinea pig, Jay; and our precious puppy, Freckles, whom we had for eighteen years... and, of course, Hobo. I've probably missed a few in there somewhere including the baby opossum, Opie, we helped to rehabilitate, but you get the picture. I've stood over more holes in the backyard consoling distraught children and wiping noses than I care to admit.
You're probably wondering whether we had a hard time saying "no" to our kids' requests for pets. Though the answer might seem obvious, it would actually be a "NO." It wasn't that we caved, it was really more that we cared... and we saw the infinite benefit to each of our children of being given something to nurture and to love. I guess for us as parents it was a simple desire to plant within our kids from a tender age the concept of caring for a life that was dependent on them, of instilling in them the truths that life is fragile and that all life has worth. Allowing pets into our homes and into our chidren's lives is a valuable way for them to learn responsibility, yes, but moreso to learn empathy and compassion. It is also a way for them to experience, with our guidance, some of the harder life lessons of love and loss that will inevitably be thrust upon them in later years.
Empathy, compassion, love, respect for life... these are the things of which the world is in desperate need, and, unfortunately, in short supply. I don't know about you, but it seems to me that life for our kids has gotten much harder than it was when we were their age. In particular, life has gotten more cruel, especially for those who are the targets of bullying and other reprehensible acts. The saying, "Kids can be cruel," has been around for a long time, but the kind of callous disregard for others that we see so often these days appears to have multiplied exponentially in recent years.
When did it become "cool" to make fun of someone mercilessly, or to torture particularly vulnerable children with hurtful names and pranks? Where is the empathy? Where is the compassion? Where is the principle of, "Do unto others as you would have them do to you?" Perhaps these young people are some who could have benefited from being given the opportunity to nurture a life, and could have also learned some invaluable lessons about care and respect for others.
There was a Facebook meme I saw and reposted recently which read, "We need to care less about whether our children are academically gifted and more about whether they sit with the lonely kid in the cafeteria." I love that! And I, for one, believe it to be the absolute truth. The world is hurting. Our kids are hurting. People need Jesus, and because we are Christians, we have His perfect example of love, compassion, and empathy. We are called to share it with a broken world... all of it, including, and ESPECIALLY, the Gospel, where we learn about God's compassion beyond measure that had pity on you and on me as poor, lost, and condemned creatures.
Pastor Guido Merkens (one of my former pastors and founder of Concordia Lutheran Church here in San Antonio) often made the following remark concerning sharing the Gospel: "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." It's much easier to share that which you have been taught... and it's easier still to share what you've been taught when you've experienced it firsthand.
So I suppose, in a roundabout way, this brings me back to my initial question. "Why do we let our kids have pets?"
Because.
Because it's a good thing... a very good and beneficial thing to welcome some of God's creatures into our lives as precious and beloved pets... fleas, vet bills, holes in the backyard and all, because they can begin to help OUR precious little ones understand the value of life, and the oft-forgotten virtues and God-given mandates of kindness, compassion... and love.
That ends the article from several years ago. Not much has changed has it? The world can still be a sad and cruel place. We need more love. We need more compassion. We need more Jesus. It's up to us as Christians to set the example. Who else is going to do it? Love on your kids. Teach them about Jesus. Give them a pet... and change the world one kind, compassionate heart at a time.
"And so, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, gentleness, and patience...." - Colossians 3:12
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