Touch

Those of you who are moms out there, I hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day. I hope you got to see your kids or at least got to talk to them on the phone or over Zoom or face chat. Staying connected to the people we love is so important these days. It feels like a lifeline to sanity.

Tom and I took the plunge and met up with our three girls at a point midway between San Antonio and Austin last weekend. We kept to the social distancing pretty well except for a couple of "illegal" hugs we gave one another upon meeting and leaving. I tell you it was good therapy. I hadn't felt that happy since before the whole shelter-in-place thing started.

I got to thinking about why "stay home-stay safe" has seemed so difficult. It isn't that we have to go without basic necessities. Most of us have plenty of food, water, and shelter to sustain us for many more months to come if that were necessary, which I truly hope it's not. We have books, puzzles, and games to occupy our minds, and walks and bike rides to exercise our bodies. For that, I am totally grateful. The thing we're having to do without is interpersonal connection, the physical touch which is SUCH an important part of thriving as a human being. Having to social distance, though trying our best to protect our health and the health of our neighbors, is sure doing a number on our hearts.

I can't help but feel that all the attention paid to the safety of our physical health is exacting a toll on our mental and emotional well-being. My daughter Elizabeth put it well the other night in our phone conversation. She said it feels like people are "floundering" emotionally. I think that's true. We're trying desperately to grab hold of something that feels "normal" in a world that has changed drastically over the past few months.

With almost everything these days being able to be ordered on-line and picked up curbside, I feel like screaming, "I'll take an order of the "old" normal, please!!!" I gotta say, it saddens me to hear the phrase, "new normal" being batted around. I don't want a new anything. I liked my old life... I LOVED my old life.

There have been lots of incredible, creative things that have come out of this trying time. One in particular that I have enjoyed, and which has been a real blessing for me, is being able to continue participating in worship over the internet. Please don't get me wrong, I am SO thankful for churches being on-line. I have desperately NEEDED to hear that Good News, but I'm ready to be physically present in church again. I want to sit next to people and recite the creed together. I want to sing the hymns with other voices. I want to greet people with hugs and handshakes. Will it ever be like that again?

God created us to be social creatures. We were uniquely designed to be in community with one another. It breaks my heart and steals my joy when I can't give someone a hug who desperately needs one. I don't want to continue in fear or isolation. I want to love on people. I want to be a part of hands-on ministry again. My goodness, I just want to be with my friends again and laugh with unbridled abandon over some silly, ridiculous little nothing.

I'm sure there are people who will reiterate that keeping our distance for one another right now IS the most loving thing we can do. We are protecting lives. I don't argue with that. I certainly don't want to be the cause of someone suffering from this horrible thing because of a careless attitude on my part, but neither do I want someone suffering in silent isolation or despair, contemplating self-harm because they are denied the balm of human connection.

This is a tricky one, it is.

I couldn't help but think of the late Princess Diana the other day. I remember how mortified Buckingham Palace was over her refusal to wear gloves when she visited AIDS patients in the hospitals there in England. She understood the power of physical touch. She understood how vital it was to patients who were dying to not feel like pariahs. She held their hands, she patted their arms. She wanted them to know they weren't alone, that someone cared. What a contrast it is from our world today. Not even loved ones are allowed into the hospitals to hold the hands of their sick and dying family members. Nurses and doctors do what they can to comfort, but all from the safety, distance, and protection of gloves, masks, and face shields.

It's sad.

I'm holding out for the "old" normal with every fiber of my being, but if it isn't to be, then I hope that in this Brave New World we will figure out some way to inoculate fear, to rid the world of this evil that has held us all captive, and to go back to spreading liberally the balm of human connection that does more for life than any medicine ever could.