There's a Difference

"Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life." - Dolly Parton

There's a BIG difference between making a living and making a life. This is true. I saw a meme on Facebook the other day that got me thinking about this. The "post" encouraged travel while you were still able-bodied enough to enjoy it. It ended with the following sentence: "No one ever wishes for more money in their last days, but experiences and memories are priceless." I shared the meme with my husband. Being more adventurous is on my bucket list. Maybe I need a smaller bucket... seems I do more adding on than scratching off!

I must admit, it's hard to make a life without making a living. I mean there are basic needs that must be met like food, shelter, clothing, and safety before one can move on to thinking about other things. Most of us in this country take those blessings for granted, but there are people, lots of people in the world, who don't have those primary securities. For them, life is about survival, first, foremost, and often, only. On the other hand, making a living -if that's your singular, all-encompassing goal- can interfere with and hijack the making of a meaningful life. For our purposes we'll limit our focus to those individuals who have a choice.

I kind of love that quote by Dolly Parton. If you know her life story, then you're familiar with the fact that she has experienced both sides of that coin in her lifetime. She grew up in a loving family who happened to also be very poor. With her gift of music she made a wonderful and prosperous life for herself. It's interesting to examine that quote from her perspective. She has known want, and she has known plenty... yet, she understands the value of investing in more meaningful things, more lasting things, than money alone.

The thing to remember is that time is precious and finite. This day cannot be relived no matter how much we'd like to. Making time for the people and the things we hold dear is what makes life special.

There were many years in our young married life when Tom had to put in massive amounts of overtime. It was necessary because his job demanded it, and because he was the sole provider at that point for the six of us. He often left for work in the morning before the kids were awake and got home in the evening just in time to help put them to bed. It was hard. Those were long days for both of us, but they served a purpose. Tom provided and protected... I nurtured and taught. We were a team working for a common goal. When we did have the time off, we enjoyed it to the fullest, making runs to the coast or visiting campgrounds.

It was a life we intentionally chose for a purpose we intentionally believed in. It's not for everybody. I get that, but it WAS for us... for a season. I wouldn't have traded those years for anything else in the world. We weren't traveling much, but we hoped we WERE making a good life for ourselves and for our children.

A meaningful life can look different to different people. It doesn't have to equate to how many frequent flyer miles you rack up or how many destinations you've visited around the globe. For life to be meaningful it must be purposeful, and to be purposeful one must define that which is valued most.

Even when we know what we value in our hearts and try our best to live that out, it's easy for one day to just sort of roll into the next. The "Routine" can become so hypnotizingly routine that before we know it, a week, a month, or a year has flown by and we've hardly noticed. Good intentions hold hands with New Year's resolutions, and we promise ourselves that things will look different... that WE'LL be different... the next year. Old habits though, are really hard to break. Meanwhile, life moves on, and if we're not careful, those meaningful moments and opportunities can easily pass us by.

I wouldn't say that a life lived to the full is one lived without regrets. I think it's possible to live a truly full life and still have regrets. I suppose that's because we all have choices in life. We can really only travel one path at a time. Choosing one thing over another means that often... not always, but often... we end up traveling so far down one road that it's difficult to make our way back later on. That's where intentionality comes in. When we choose because it's the right thing or because it's the best thing at the time, our choice has purpose and that helps in making life meaningful. I think it also helps in thwarting many of those regrets.

Don't get me wrong. Money is great. Having money is certainly better than not having money. It's useful. It can be helpful in so many different ways, but it is not the stuff life is made of. Life is so much more.

My heart breaks when I see young families in debt to their eyeballs, trying to pay for that "necessary" square footage or that new SUV. They run themselves ragged shuttling kids from one practice to another and shell out for private lessons ad nauseum for everything from violin to martial arts. Their days begin before dawn packing lunches and stuffing backpacks with the precision of an assembly line, and they come to an exhausting close only after all the meetings, homework, and bedtime routines are in the books. In all honesty, I don't know how they do it. I don't know how long that pace can be kept up before burnout sets in and consumes everything they were working toward in the first place.

Money is great. It's useful. It can be helpful in so many ways, but it's not the stuff life is made of.

One day in the not too distant future, none of that will matter. You can't hug your bank account, and it can't hug you back. What we do with our time, and ultimately our treasure also, is what really matters. We love people. We use things. Money is simply a tool. Real wealth comes from investing ourselves in the lives of those we love. The dividends come in the form of a truly wonderful... truly meaningful life, and what could be better than that.

"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?" - Matthew 6: 25,26