The Power of the Purge

"As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. Just as a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him. For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust." - Psalm103:12-14

January always seems to be the time of year the urge strikes to clear out the old; to go through drawers, closets, and cupboards getting rid of clutter and making way for a fresh start. This has been my task the past few weeks, and it's never really pleasant. Oh, I enjoy enough the freedom it brings to liberate myself from the weight of all the stuff, but all that stuff needs a decision. Give away, throw away, or keep.

I'm not very good at decision making. No, scratch that. I'm TERRIBLE at decision making. I recently read an Instagram post that described my problem to a "T." Perhaps there WAS something in my formative years that made me overthink and analyze everything to death, effectively rendering me paralyzed when it comes to making choices. Whatever the case, I struggle BIG time in this area.

So you can see that having to make a decision about every little thing I pull out can sometimes be overwhelming.

If I could purge and just let it go without revisiting it or without rethinking the whole thing it would be a breeze. But that's not me. I have to overcomplicate the "chunking" even of frayed shorts or ripped t-shirts. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??!!

Just let it go for goodness sakes!!!!

But then... there's always that little voice that says, "Those still have some life in 'em. They could be paint clothes!" Yep, but how many paint outfits does one need really, I ask you.

Currently, there is a growing pile of discarded items lined up neatly in the front bedroom, but I know if I don't get rid of them soon, some of them will find their way back into the fold. I'll cast a glance that way as I'm putting away laundry or something, and decide the little red and white striped bowl surely has a place of use here in the casita somewhere or another... and out of the pile it will come.

It's bad, y'all, it really is.

As I've been going through this tedious exercise, I have also been thinking about the need to purge other things from my life. Untended, lots of unpleasant things can begin to clutter my heart. Hurts I have incurred. Hurts I have caused. Anger, resentment, bitterness, jealousy mound up in every corner. They get buried under new weights of unkind words and deeds. It can get to be a real mess in there, and without purging those things, my heart can become a very dark and unwelcoming space.

This kind of purge is also difficult... actually WAY more difficult, because in order to clean it out, I have to revisit things I may have forgotten all about. Things shoved so far back and under such a thick layer of dust that it can literally make me sick. Things I WANTED to forget.

Tending to the corners of my heart means I have to take a good, hard look at myself. It means I have to recognize those faults. I have to admit my wrongdoing... and I have to confess to my heavenly Father and apologize to those I've offended. It's not a pleasant thing, but it is a very necessary thing... especially in order to have a clean start. In order to heal. In order to try once again to be the person God desires me to be.

So, I begin the purge... and it hurts. It hurts to open old wounds. It's painful to see the real me... the Dorian Gray revealed. But God knows all my faults, and the really crazy, unfathomable, unimaginable thing is this... He still loves me in spite of it all. And He is there with me, dragging out each filthy box, throwing it away into the depths of the sea, never to be revisited again.

He is all too familiar with my Achilles' heel, my inclination to revisit things already purged, already confessed... already forgiven. So He takes them from me, before I have the chance to look back, to pick a remnant from the trash heap and tuck it away. He saves me from my sins. He saves me from myself.

He cleans. He forgives. He restores. And His purge has the power to wipe it away...

forever.

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." - 1 John1:9