The Most Problematic Pronouns

Although there has been much discussion of late about the identification and use of one's preferred pronouns, this post isn't intended for the purpose of addressing that issue. Rather, it seeks to shed light on what, in my opinion, are the most problematic of identifiers; the pronouns which have the potential to do more hurt and harm than any others.

Here's how this all began.

It was an accidental thought that came into focus one morning as I was standing at the kitchen sink, looking out to the backyard. A birdfeeder hangs in the far corner, visited by scores of feathered friends in the early moments of the day. I fill it to the brim each morning before the sun is even up. A little way off lies a large bowl near the faucet which gets replenished with fresh water frequently, for these little ones have been thirsty over the long drought. Last in my morning routine comes the cereal bowl perched on the deck railing. It too holds a drink for those brave enough to venture close to the house.

I adore those birds. It gives me such pleasure to watch them, but sometimes things can get a bit out of hand. There are quite a few white-wing doves that act aggressively to the smaller birds. They shoo the cardinals and sparrows away, flapping their wings and running at them. I know that's probably just nature, but I don't care for it. Their piggish behavior is unnecessary... and selfish.

The thing that really got me was when one of those beautiful cardinals came to drink at the bowl on the deck. He took sips at first and then jumped in, sending water splashing everywhere. He dove and shook and dove again, his antics attracting quite the crowd. Several sparrows lined up for their turn at what must have looked like a grand ol' time, but when the cardinal noticed them, he jumped onto the rim of the bowl, flapped his wings, and shooed THEM off.

More piggish behavior, and from one who already knew the scorn and had felt the sting of selfishness. I couldn't help but think of the parable of the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18. We don't always treat others the way we wish to be treated.

That brings me to those troublesome pronouns... the worst of the bunch: "I" and "MINE."

So much of the strife we see unfolding in the world today, in our country, in our workplaces, marriages, and homes has to do with putting our wants and our needs above everyone else's. I can't remember a time in my life when issues were more polarizing and people more divided.

We cannot all say, "I." We cannot all cry, "Mine!" That kind of self-centeredness has a way of destroying everything decent and good. It ruins friendships, kills marriages, damages families, decimates congregations. I have seen it. I have experienced it. I'm sorry to admit that I've done it myself, with my children. I'm forever grateful that God in His mercy has redeemed all of that, and has graciously restored those relationships, but selfish actions always take a toll.

When we demand our own way, we're acting as though we are the masters of our own universe. We're not... not. even. close. There is only One who holds that title, and how pained He must be when we act as though we are. God's Word tells us that to become more like Jesus, we must die to self. Die... and be remade into His likeness.

Wow, that's tough. Really tough. On my own, under my own initiative, that's never gonna happen. Not even if I desperately want it to. No, the only way for my "I" and "Mine" to be more concerned with "You" and "Yours" is for me to surrender my all, everything I've got, to the One who gave everything up, even His own life, for me.

Back to those little birds. There wasn't one of them who toiled for that food, who paid for the water that quenched their thirst. It just appeared like manna from heaven. It was there for all of them... free of charge, and yet... they grabbed for themselves and chased others away.

That's the thing that hit me there in the kitchen as I saw the scene unfold.

I am they. They are me.

Oh, the blessings God showers down on me... like manna come His mercies my way. He has withheld no good thing from me even as undeserving as I am. Still, I am a favored child, yes, but so is every other human being that has ever walked the face of this earth. I am no greater than any other, nor am I any less. Every one of us has eternal value in His eyes, each one of us ransomed at great price.

This should make me grateful. Grateful enough to turn my attention outward... to love the way I have been loved.

When we look at one another, we are seeing a beloved child of God, provided for, cared for, redeemed, and deeply loved. How then can we still utter the "I" and "Mine," when but for "Him" and for "His" sacrifice, we would all surely be lost.

We live in community, and community concerns itself with "our" and "ours." Our all-knowing God designed it that way, and when done well, can be beautiful.... a foretaste of that wondrous communion to come. We will never all agree on every issue, not this side of heaven anyway, but we CAN try to see another's point of view, put ourselves in their shoes, ask more "YOU" and "YOUR" questions... and listen.

God's manna is for all of us.