Tending Your Character House

"Train up a child in the way he should go,/Even when he is old he will not depart from it." - Proverbs 22:6

Thursdays are my self-designated cleaning days here at the casita. I like having the house in order before Tom finishes work for the week at noon on Fridays. That means our weekends are freed up to either take on bigger chores around the house, hit the back roads of the Hill Country in the Jeep, or head out to visit some of our kids and grandkids.

Yesterday I plotted the course for my day while standing at the kitchen sink, trying to decide on whether I wanted to bother with a smoothie or just fast track it with a bowl of raisin bran for breakfast. Decision made, I reached for a glass. It was one farther back on the shelf, and to my horror and disgust (actually that's too dramatic... it was more just like "ICK!"), it was fuzzy with dust. FUZZY. Gross! I looked a bit more closely at the open shelves, and my heart sank just a wee bit.

Forget what I had planned to do, it was obvious something else would take priority that day. Me? I like the easy day, the predictable day... the day I finish early and get to spend the rest of it doing the fun stuff. Grabbing a step stool to schlep everything from the top shelf on down and find a temporary holding spot for it all while I cleaned was NOT my idea of fun... or fast! I would be in it for the long haul.

Not only would the shelves need a good scrubbing down, but so would all the dishes, and the dishwasher would only hold so much. I'd have to wash and dry by hand all the stuff that fell into the category of bulky, delicate, or heavy. There was no use delaying the inevitable, so to the task I went.

I don't know why, but whenever my hands get in hot, soapy water, I start to think about things. I guess it's just the freedom the mind has to wander when a job doesn't really need a lot of thought. I mused over the importance of doing these menial tasks, though no one else besides me would ever notice they'd been done. I mean, who looks at high shelves or baseboards with a critical eye, really?! Nonetheless, I was doing something that, though not glorious, was necessary for the well- being of my home and my family.

There are LOTS of little things that need tending to to keep a house going strong so it can serve us well for many years to come.

Hang with me... a change of direction coming, but I promise we'll double back toward the end.

My husband is fond of telling me about a teacher he had in elementary school who talked to them about their "character house." I don't recall if these were her own words or if she was reading from a book, but the advice made quite an impact on Tom, and on me as well when I heard them. This teacher explained that we all live in a "character" house. We want it to remain strong, to be well-built, to manage it so it serves us solidly our whole lives. She went on to explain that whenever we tell a lie, or cheat, or steal something, or say something unkind, we are tearing boards off our character house. The inverse would also be true, that each time we were kind, helpful, honest, obedient... our character house would become stronger.

What does any of that have to do with my washing kitchen shelves? Well, it's like this...

It got me thinking about parenting, about all the things we do as moms and dads to take care of our children's physical, spiritual, and emotional needs as they grow up; and I suppose you could ball those all into one and say simply that we are trying to build character in them. And... character building isn't necessarily fun, easy, or fast, but it IS extremely important and necessary for their well-being and for them to one day serve well their God, their family, and their fellow man. It's also one of those "in for the long haul" kinds of things.

Parents never get a day off. Their instruction, training, modeling, guiding is always - ALWAYS - on! In a thousand different ways, hundreds of times a day they are reinforcing the values they hold dear, the values they hope and pray to instill in their children. They too stand at the proverbial kitchen sink every morning, contemplating what must be done that day, wondering if their plans will come to fruition or whether instead something "fuzzy" will drive a change of course. Either way, they will meet the task at hand, because they are parents, and because they love their children enough to do whatever it takes to help build that character house one board at a time.

Here at the casita I love nothing more than spending time shuffling around furniture, switching out duvet and pillow covers, planting flowers around the deck. Those things bring a sense of joy to my heart. I don't have to spend a lot of energy or focus on any of them, and I guess that's what makes them so joyful. Scrubbing down shelves and ceaning baseboards? Not so much. Yet, I know the value of doing the things that MUST be done, so I can later enjoy those fruits... the fun stuff.

I don't think it's any different being a parent. Parenting isn't just the fun stuff. Oh, don't get me wrong, it IS wonderful, and it's often loads of fun, but it isn't ALL trips to get ice cream and riding the rollercoaster at Fiesta Texas. There is a ton more of the little everyday things:

"Brush your teeth for two minutes"; "Yes, I want you to obey, but I also want it with a good attitude"; "Praying is just talking to your best friend, Jesus"; "Why would we ever do something so unkind as to hurt another person's fellings?" "Please take your plate to the sink"; We are writing this thank you note because someone loved you enough to pick a gift out and send it to you, and we acknowledge that by saying thank you"; "I don't want you to ever lie to me, because I want to be able always to trust whatever you tell me"; "We are generous with others because God, our heavenly Father, is generous with us"; "We must always strive to be humble, because every talent we have is not of our own doing, but one God gifted to us for His purpose." "'Please' and 'Thank you' are the magic words"; "Sometimes Mommy has been wrong and needs to say, 'I'm sorry. Will you please forgive me?"

Those little everyday things are the boards that build the character house, and we, as the parents, are the contractors... effectively given the job by the One who created those precious children... His children. So we meet the task day-in and day-out with a sense of purpose... and joy (whether we're licking ice cream or scrubbing shelves) for this is the stuff dreams are made of... prodigy that will one day, not so long from now, go out into the world and make it a better place.