Just What I Needed

Today's post is going to be a little different, because today is a day devoted to my better half. I can't help but reflect on our life together as each year brings another tick mark in our on-going story. It's a pretty great story, if I do say so myself.

I think I shocked my son and daughter-in-law last week with something I said about Tom and me. Mark, Laura, and the kids were visiting for a few days, and as is our custom, we sat and visited in the evening after the kiddos went to bed. At some point the conversation turned to marriage, and I revealed matter-of-factly that I knew Tom was the guy for me because "he was someone I couldn't control."

Gosh... reading that last sentence makes us look terrible. Tom is NOT an ogre, and I am not a complete control freak, but it was meant in the very best way. What I meant to say was Tom is his own man. He has his own ideas, his own convictions. He knows his mind. That was incredibly attractive to me. Still is, because I know me too... and I needed someone just like that to curb some of my less-desireable qualities.

I grew up an only child, not because my parents didn't want more children. The desire was there, but it just never happened for them. As a result, my mother in particular tried her best NOT to spoil me. Only children can sometimes (emphasis on sometimes) be like the oldest on steroids... disciplined,in charge, bossy... Who said that?! It wasn't so much the "stuff" that my parents had to be careful of, as we lived a very modest lifestyle, but rather it was trying to instill in me a sense that I wasn't the center of their universe or anyone else's. They did a good job. I know... of course, I would say that, but they really did. *wink, wink

That's my story, and I'm stickin' to it!

The thing hardest for me as an only was never having to navigate power struggles with siblings. There wasn't much to compromise on, or share, except with friends, which my folks were good about pushing. I had front row access to Mom and Dad any time I needed or wanted. They never missed a concert or half-time show because a sibling had a conflicting activity. It was a nice life, but one where I tended to command my own whims, which doesn't always bode well in a marriage.

Enter Tom Pulliam. Gosh, I love that man!

As I got into my early twenties, I began thinking a lot more seriously about the kind of man I hoped to marry some day. To be honest, lots of the things I had imagined were boxes easily ticked by Tom. The really important ones were, but what I thought I wanted didn't match up too well with what God knew I really needed.

So.... Tom and I started dating.

There I was "whim"-ing like I never "whim"-ed before. Tom was not particularly phased; that needle wasn't easily moved. I had met my match... so I did the thing that had always seemed to work before... I "whim"-ed even harder. Not a twitch! I was frustrated and bewildered as to why this fool-proof technique was no longer working, but I was also intrigued, and in short time, knew I was falling in love with this man.

You know the day I knew I would marry him? We were supposed to drive out to Smiley to fill deer feeders. It had rained earlier that day and was bound to be muddy. My mom called and, in typical mom fashion, persuaded me it would be better for us to just hit a movie or something until better weather prevailed. Sounded perfectly logical to me, so when Tom arrived at my apartment I shared my mother's "whim" which I had whole-heartedly adopted, and suggested a movie instead.

Tom was just standing in the doorway looking at me, perhaps a tiny bit annoyed... perhaps more.... He handed me the little rosebud he always brought me each time he came over and, without that infamous "twitch" said, "You can go to the movies, but I'm going to fill the feeders."

That was it. The single thing that convinced me this was the man for me. After I recovered from the initial shock, I blurted out, "Just let me grab my boots!"

Long story short, we got Tom's truck stuck in a ditch there on the property, had to traipse over a plowed field, hop a fence, and walk along a deserted dirt road at dusk to try to find a

house somewhere with kindly people who would let us use their phone to call a tow truck. Yes, this was before cell phones or GPS!

Wouldn't you know it, this was the very moment Tom chose to ask me to marry him! His exact words: "I wonder if you wouldn't mind marrying me too much." Of course, I said yes! I had already decided earlier that day as I was fumbling for my boots that I would definitely be marrying this cute cowboy if he asked.

He wasn't what I expected. He was so much better. He was EVERYTHING I needed, and more.

When you trust God to write your love story, it's always a best-seller! Tom has taught me so much about life, and faith, and trust. He is the calm to my troubled waters. He is the resolve to my wavering. He is the assurance to my doubt, and He is the rock to my sandy shore.

Tomorrow we celebrate thirty-nine years together. It truly doesn't seem anywhere near that long. We have had an extraordinary life. God has carried us together through all manner of difficulties, loss, financial strains... you name it, but He has also brought us so many incredible blessings out of both the famine and the plenty. I thank the good Lord often for bringing Tom into my life, because God had plans for me, and He knew better than any of us, me included, that Tom was just the man I needed for those plans to come to fruition.

Tom Pulliam, I love you dearly. You have given me so much in this life, including our precious family. You have my heart today and always. I would still gladly follow you anywhere...

"Just let me grab my boots!"