Honoring Age

"The glory of the young is their strength; the gray hair of experience is the splendor of the old." - Proverbs 20:29

If you've read these blog posts for any length of time, you know the things I write about come out of everyday experiences. Sometimes they're little bits of nothing that roll around in my head all week connecting... ending up making an appearance here on Fridays. Today's post is one of these.

This past week, three things in particular made an impression on me. The first was a very innocent, well-intentioned remark by a dear friend. The second was an article written for children of ageing parents, and the third was a photo essay from a wonderful new artist I happened to discover quite by accident. The common thread among the three was, of course, age.

The first was a simple observation about noticing the resemblance between me and my children in an old photograph, some thirty years ago, when my face was "thinner." My friend wasn't wrong in her asessment, and she is such a dear friend I knew she meant no disrespect in the comment, but it stung just a tiny bit, nonetheless. In that fraction of a second I felt "less than," with youth winning out over age.

Why do we do that? Why do we value so the smooth, dewy complexion over the fine-lined or furrowed brow? Honestly, I believe it's our culture that has drilled that into us. As we gain years, and likely also pounds, we shy away from mirrors and avoid the unflattering light of department store fitting rooms like the plague. We spend small fortunes on anti-ageing makeup, dieting books, and gym memberships to try to keep the accumulating years at bay. Don't get me wrong, I believe in keeping fit and eating well, but what I'm talking about here is more like obsession... trying to hold on to fleeting youth at all costs.

When did old age become a bad thing? Why must it feel a burden we have to bear?!

Something else I came across was an article written for individuals with ageing parents. The article was advising children to have "the talk" with their parents about assisted living accommodations sooner rather than later. To the author's credit, he did mention a viable practice of generations ago, where grandparents would live with their children, help out with work and chores, and take care of their grandchildren. This would prove to be a symbiotic relationship, helping ease the burden of busy parents while benefiting the aged with productive work and companionship... not to mention strengthening the bond between grandparent and grandchild. The author went on to say, however, that that particular model isn't really practical for today's lifestyle, and it might be more realistic to encourage one's parents to look into co-habitating with friends in a communal retirement village. I know it isn't workable in all situations. I fully realize that, but is the family model really such an impracticality... something we shouldn't even entertain?

I would never belittle or minimize the reality of caring for an elderly parent. I have been there myself. It can be hard, really hard, but it can also be a great blessing for those who are able and for whom the situation allows; for in those shared days of meeting the needs of our loved one, we -ourselves- are taught a great deal about love and compassion, understanding and gratitude. For me, it was a privilege to care for one who had cared so well and so long for me.

Again, I ask: When did old age become a bad thing? Why must it feel a burden we have to bear?!

In searching the web for quotes on ageing, I was surprised by the enormity of material focused on making fun of the ageing process, or of bemoaning it. It was rather discouraging. Old age is a blessing from God. Each extra year, month, or day is another opportunity to love and be loved... to make a difference in the world for the better, to witness our faith, to encourage others. I much prefer to gather quotes from the most inspirational text I know; God's Word. Here we find the truth. Here we find how our heavenly Father views age, and it's a much different picture... a beautiful picture.

Take a look at these passages:

Isaiah 40:31

"But those who keep waiting on the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they'll run and not grow weary; they'll walk and not grow faint."

2 Corinthians 4:16-17

"That is why we are not discouraged. Though outwardly we are wearing out, inwardly we are renewed day by day. Our suffering is light and temporary and is producing in us an eternal glory that is greater than anything we can imagine."

Psalm 92:12-14

"But the godly will flourish like palm trees and grow strong like the cedars of Lebanon. For they are transplanted to the Lord's own house. They flourish in the courts of our God. Even in old age they will still produce fruit; they will remain vital and green. They will declare, 'The Lord is just! He is my rock! There is no unrighteousness in Him!'"

To grow old is to grow closer to God. Old age lessens the gap between earth and heaven. Age gains wisdom and perspective that can only be had through living, experiencing, and enduring all manner of things, both wonderful and tragic. The accumulation of years helps to foster a greater understanding of people, a greater empathy toward those hurting, and a greater appreciation for all God's blessings great... and small.

I said there were three things that influenced my thoughts for this week. The third was a photo essay by Elizabeth Maxson Photography. I happened upon her work as I said, almost by accident. Her Instagram was featured on a decorating blog. Her account was set to private, but the image pictured was so mesmerizing, I searched her name and found her old blog. In it was image after image she had captured of the beauty of age: cracks running across a wall, crazed china, water-stained and peeling wallpaper, worn floorboards.

She saw there the beauty, where others saw only the flawed. Her images were deeply layered, capturing the history of each object in its perfect imperfection... the cracked teacup resting on the peeling windowsill; the tattered fabric on the old, abandoned chair; the faded, floral wallpaper clinging in ragged pieces to the yellowing cheesecloth underneath. I tell you, these images moved me. They stirred something inside, a voice rising up, shouting to the world... "See the truth! Recognize the beauty! Value the age!"

Layers and depth can only happen given time. Time is not the enemy. Time is merely the tool that assists in bringing the beautiful patina of each life to the forefront. I wish we could focus on that whenever we view our image in a mirror, or look into the weathered face of a loved one.

Oh, that we could do that... for ourselves, for one another.

Life is about so much more than physical appearance, so much more than strength and vitality. Life is a love gift from the God who created us in His image... to do His work... to live for Him. That makes us beautiful in the only eyes that really matter. We are precious and treasured, and no amount of gray hairs or fine lines will ever change that.

So I suppose, if age is all in how you look at it, then I much prefer my perspective... be His.