The Hardest Place to Practice Grace

"Oh, to grace how great a debtor - Daily I'm constrained to be;

Let that grace now like a fetter - Bind my wand'ring heart to Thee:

Prone to wander, Lord I feel it; Prone to leave the God I love.

Here's my heart, O take and seal it, Seal it for Thy courts above."

- "Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing" TLH 686 (v.3)

If you had to determine where you thought the hardest place was to practice grace, where would you say it would be?

Would it be in the workplace where deadlines, stress, and competition for job security and promotions exist? Or would it be perhaps among friend groups playing the comparison game of who's moving into the bigger house/better neighborhood, or whose kids are consistently acing their standardized tests? Might it even be in 5:30 traffic where the guy in the sportscar races on the shoulder past the crazy long line to merge at the head?

Maybe. These scenarios can surely press buttons, but for me, I'd have to say the hardest place to consistently practice grace is at home.

Being a Christian means carrying Christ with us - carrying Christ in us - everywhere we go, in everything we do. It's not like a hat we wear, putting it on before we leave the house in the morning and hanging it on the rack when we get home. And when we carry Christ in us... we also carry His grace. It really isn't an option.

Why then, at least for me (and I always try my best to be honest here) is it so challenging to demonstrate that grace in the place I spend most of my time, among those with whom I'm closest?

Home is the place where we live intertwined and love intensely. Home is the place where we are most invested, where every aspect of our life touches our spouse's, our family's. We live in closeness... and closeness produces friction.

Oh, I suppose it's easy enough, or at least a bit easier to squelch less gracious words and attitudes in public where jobs and long-standing friendships are on the line, but home... home is where we relax, get in the comfortable old clothes... slip into the comfortable old habits of "me first, you second." We may let a remark slide at work or with friends (though truthfully often much is being spoken in our head), but there's just something about being in the safety of the familiar that sometimes brings out the worst in us.

A curt word is sniped and we are offended. We could take a breath, ponder what might be going on with our spouse, our child, that prompted such a remark. We could. Grace would encourage we would, but often, depending of course on the situation, we follow with a barb of our own. Retaliation: 1 Grace: 0.

This example is an oversimplification and, unfortunately, just the tip of the iceberg in our own battle to practice outwardly that which should be inherently within us. We are both saint and sinner at the same time... and that sinner is a persistent bully.

Paul David Tripp, author of the devotional book: New Morning Mercies , calls this behavior out; saying when it happens that we are being "grace amnesiacs." We have forgotten the immense grace our Father has shown to us because of the sacrifice of His Son. That grace should be at the forefront of everything we think, say, and do. It's not a hat we put on and take off when it suits us. It's part of us, woven into our hearts at our new birth in baptism.

If grace came easy, would it be grace at all?

I had a Sunday school teacher many decades ago define grace as an acronym: God's Riches At Christ's Expense. That kind of grace certainly didn't come easy. It came at great price for my eternal well-being and yours.

I believe God provides us home and family as a missionary opportunity, an opportunity to hone our skills in practicing grace... giving it freely, expecting nothing in return. It's not necessarily a place where grace comes easy. Emotions float on the surface here. Home is where we let our guard down, and where we express ourselves in raw honesty. We laugh, we cry, we scream, we dance, we fight, we make up, we convict, we confess. We are the most authentic versions of ourselves in this place... which is sometimes a sad and discouraging thought.

Thank God for grace, Yes! Thank God for grace!!

And, thank God for His patience as we continue to grow in grace, for when we can learn to replace the "me first" attitude with "God first, others second, me.... farther down the line," in our own homes with those closest to us, we will have taken the first step...

in binding our wand'ring, grace amnesiac, heart to His.