The Dance

It was mesmerizing, this interplay between the two of them. Each having a specific task, yet working in such tandem they seemed as one. It was almost like watching a dance.

I suppose this may have been the first time I ever paid so much attention to the team steer roping event at the rodeo. Tom had won some tickets through his work, and though high up in the stands, our seats afforded an excellent vantage point.

The precision of the teams was flawless. Tom called them "headers" and "heelers." The first guy out took only milliseconds to rope the steer's head. The second focused on getting to the rear as quickly as possible to snag the hind quarters. When fractions of a second mean the difference between, "Better luck next time" and taking the prize money home -not to mention the bragging rights- teamwork is everything!

I find that to be true in life as well, especially in marriage.

Tom and I have very different roles in this partnership. That wasn't always the case when we were first married. At that time we were both working outside the home and both working inside the home as well to get the necessary homemaking tasks and household maintenance accomplished.

We were crazy busy... with weekends too long on chores and too short on fun and relaxation.

When we had our first child that all changed. There were health issues to consider. Long story short, my role morphed according to God's plan and orchestration. That one facet of our life together changed, but our teamwork did not. In fact, I'd say we got better and better at honing our skills as partners and teammates.

We had never stopped dancing, but now everything just seemed to flow better... easier.

One thing to know about me (as a music major) is that I'm by nature a terrible "follower" on the dance floor. If our steps aren't perfectly in sinc with the beat... I try my best to make it so! That can be very frustrating for the person who is actually leading. Tom will be happy to corroborate.

But truthfully, keeping in step with the beat or not... the fact of the matter is that there can only be one leader at a time. Otherwise you're not dancing; you're colliding.

I will make a point here to say that every job within a marriage partnership is important and valuable. To understand and appreciate that is golden.

I have been beyond blessed to feel validated in my current role within our marriage and famiy. l haven't felt the need or the desire that some do (either financially, socially, or otherwise) for additional occupation. For me namely, that would be going back into the public school teaching sector. I'm not saying life was easy with that choice, and I understand this is not possible for everyone who wishes it, but it has been a huge blessing for me, for our family, and for our unique circumstances. I don't take that for granted.

I must also say... and shout out to my daughter, Elizabeth, who is a high school English teacher...I have enormous respect for teachers and for the teaching profession in general. I absolutely loved my job as a middle school band director the years I had with that, but God has given me a huge amount of joy and fulfillment in this career; more than I could ever have imagined. I am incredibly thankful for that.

Life will look different in every marriage. I don't know that there's a "one size fits all." We do what works. We do the best we can. We do what we have to do. We do what we are called to do.

This I do know: marriage isn't a competition. It's a total cooperative effort, and when we are willing to be whatever is needed... whoever is needed... at the time, it's a beautiful, beautiful...

dance.