Gratitude Amnesiac

I hate to admit it, but the last couple of weeks I have become somewhat of a gratitude amnesiac.

One of my all-time favorite devotional books is New Morning Mercies by Paul David Tripp. In it he often refers to himself as a grace amnesiac, someone who often forgets how profoundly God has permeated every aspect of his daily life with grace, and how that "amnesia" can affect his attitude and behavior.

Well, the past few weeks I have had a bout of amnesia myself. Not about grace, though undoubtedly that was affected a bit as well, but rather with gratitude. You see, I caught some little cold virus or something that very happily settled in for a long summer's nap in my ears. No earaches, just lots of fluid camping out in my eustachian tubes. It was really weird. I lost about 90% of my hearing in both ears. It felt like I had two pillows strapped to the sides of my head, and I didn't care for that at all!

I immediately hit the prayers asking God to open up those tubes pronto, which kinda turned into some whining to Him about how I couldn't understand why He wasn't getting to it faster! I know. Terrible. One hundred percent fallen human reaction, but terrible nonetheless.

I spent a couple of weeks feeling out of sorts with a generous helping of dizziness thrown in for good measure when I finally got in to see an ENT to find out what could be done about it.

A steroid pack, a couple of different nasal sprays, and some over the counter decongestants were what the doctor ordered, and they have been helping greatly to clear things up.

However...

As the tubes were draining, my heart and conscience were filling up with a newfound realization of just how much a gratitude amnesiac I've been. The doctor has been helpful, and I am thankful for that, but God is the one who heals. AND... God is the One who has blessed me with the ability to hear in the first place. Part of that realization for me was how I have taken that immense blessing of hearing for granted.

I wrote to my kids on Facebook messenger that "too much introspection isn't always a good thing." Introspection is fine, even good, when we need to examine ourselves, checking our heart perspective, but it shouldn't stop there. Introspection needs to move out of self and upward to our Creator for repentance and thanksgiving for all He has done and continues daily to do for us.

On my walk this morning I could hear the birds again. I could hear the crunching of gravel under my feet, the little breeze tickling the leaves as it passed.

I had to confess my amnesia to the Lord and tell Him how utterly beyond grateful I am for my gift of hearing and for every other sense I enjoy.

How easily we slip into grumbling when things we have taken for granted... things that have always worked well without our giving them a passing thought... suddenly stop working. Then, and often ONLY then, do we turn our attention their way... and start throwing up those prayers for God to do something about it when He has been faithfully doing something about it all along!

This "amnesia" has led me to some interesting introspection. Maybe this little cold virus was just "one of those things" you have to endure sometimes. Or maybe...

it was something more.

Maybe it was a nudge from my heavenly Father to stop and take stock of all the blessings I so often take for granted, and instead of only throwing up those prayers in times of desperation (which, don't get me wrong, He hears and welcomes) to remember to lift my hands to Him in praise and gratitude each and every day for His innumerable blessings which He so lavishly provides me.

p.s. Thank you, Father, for the gift of hearing, and for the wonders of your creation we get to experience and enjoy through it. Amen